And how to shift each.
These commonalities are written in no particular order. They are EACH devastating. They are EACH costly. They are EACH common. And they are also totally fixable and can be fixed immediately.
And should be fixed immediately.
As you read through them, I invite you to be honest with yourself. WHICH of these are showing up for you? And then — if you are not willing to IMMEDIATELY shift them — ask yourself why.
1) PEOPLE PLEASING.
ugggg. Where do I EVEN start with the people pleasing thing? I heard
speak once on the REAL problem with people pleasing. She said that EVERY OTHER DESTRUCTIVE habit comes with negative feedback from others. (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the drift.)
If I’m lying, I’ll get caught.
If I’m eating too much the doctor may call me out.
If I’m violent, there will be consequences.
With most behaviors, people who love me will call me out and encourage me to LOOK at my behavior. BUT with people pleasing… 
well, it turns out that people LIKE to be pleased.
People LIKE to be your top priority.
People ENJOY being center of your attention.
It is CONVENIENT for them if you eclipse your own agenda to serve theirs.
So, you can spend your entire life trying to please everyone and the only NEGATIVE FEEDBACK you’ll get is the — undeniable — passing of time, while YOUR OWN soul’s agenda, while your own divine assignment sits unattended on the back burner. And that, for women like us, DOES lead to a certain soul sickness.
We feel it.
We aim to change it.
We aim to DO MORE.
We promise to get to OUR stuff tomorrow.
Or after “this season.”
But the REAL answer,
the REAL fix…
is to DO LESS,
to end our people pleasing ways.
If you are a Women Who WOW member, we do have a full training on people pleasing. It MUST go.
As a side note, I WILL ALWAYS call out your people pleasing. I NEVER aim to please you. I never aim to impress you. I aim to make an impact.
And I can tell you that the BIGGEST, FASTEST shift you can make in your business will begin with the END of people pleasing.
Action to take: Identify the activities, tasks, commitments or habits you currently have “on your plate” that are to impress, placate, or pacify others. And then, begin ruthlessly and unapologetically quitting them. If you need LANGUAGE for how to tell them, “I’m not doing that any more,” just message me here. I got you.
Moving on…
2) DENYING WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
I just wrote an entire post for our members this morning about how we can have what we want, but we’re OFTEN unwilling to admit what we want. If you want a copy, message me.
We often play COY with our purpose and with our goals. We have these DREAMS dancing in our hearts, but when we go to put words to them, when we go to excavate them so we can examine them more closely, when we DARE to put them on a vision board… we filter them.
We begin to fall in line with the commoners, putting ONLY the most reasonable goals on paper. Exposing ONLY our “just outside of my reach” goals to anyone else. We often aren’t even honest with OURSELVES about the goals we see within ourselves.
What if they think me “too much?”
What if they think my plans too grandiose?
What if they say — again — who does this small town chick think she IS?
They WILL think these things.
And they MAY say these things,
to you
about you…
but what difference does it make, really?
They’re part of the mediocre masses.
They’re going to talk about women like us.
It’s a simple fact of us being us, and them NOT being us.
So instead of trying to AVOID their talking or thinking this stuff, why not commit to giving them CONTEXT????
Action to take: BE HONEST with yourself. AT LEAST have the courage to look your OWN biggest vision in the eye without flinching. OWN it. You see it because you were MEANT to dream that big. DO NOT look away for fear of what others might think or say. Go all in, so that if they ARE talking about you, they have even MORE to say.
3) WAITING ON DIVINE TIMING.
My Mom had this saying about people being “so spiritually minded, they’re no earthly good.” Some people are perpetually waiting.
And, if they’re the “spiritual sort,” they get coaching and readings and other insight into their behavior. PLUS they’re smart. So, they have renamed their waiting. They have re-framed it.
No, they’re not paralyzed with fear.
NO, they’re not just hesitant to SELL.
They’re waiting on DIVINE timing.
Waiting on God, in other words.
Fear.
Disguised as faith.
Action: God is infinite. Always was, always will be. Alpha & Omega. So, drop the story of YOU waiting on HIM to act. The truth is, the gentleman that He is, HE is waiting on YOU to act.
The only DIVINE timing
is NOW.
It’s the only time any of us have.
4) EARNING THE RIGHT TO SELL.
I can’t spend much time on this because it’s too simple. You do not EVER need to EARN the right to sell. So, if you WANT to write the book first, if you WANT to give away your stuff first (and someone else is paying the bills) fine. BUT you do not HAVE to earn the RIGHT to sell.
You can SIMPLY earn the sale itself.
By serving,
by inviting
by asking them to say yes.
Plus, they need to BUY it.
They literally need to BUY IN.
So that you can fULLY partner with them.
Freebies ONLY carry a limited “charge” or commitment. It will only get THEM so far. So, do them — your market — a favor. Stop childizing them and invite them to be in a PROFESSIONAL relationship with you.
Earn the sale.
Not the right to sell.
Action item: For the love of all things Holy, sell something. The economy needs you.
5) NOT HAVING A SOURCE FOR THE ENERGY, CONFIDENCE, COURAGE YOU NEED.
No matter how spiritual you are, you have a VERY REAL, VERY CONCRETE “source” for things that you need. Pipes that bring water into your home. A store that allows you to bring FOOD into your home. A place to go to get gas for your vehicle. Power lines that supply your power needs.
And so when it comes to being an entrepreneur, you need a SOURCE, a go to place where you can breathe in the fumes of ACTION, CONFIDENCE AND DEFIANCE. You need a place to go where you can “plug in” and REMEMBER who you are and what you are up to… what you are REALLY here to create. You need a place to go for daily kicks in the pants, regular motivation, constant reminders of what is POSSIBLE for you. You need a place to go when you need direction, support, affirmation.
Women who WOW is that place.
For women like us.
To my knowledge it is the ONLY place
truly
for women like us.
Here to change the world
while creating a LIFE we love
and wild success on our own terms.
Women DETERMINED to live full out,
because we KNOW
this is NOT a dress rehearsal.
If you want to know more about WOW,
Message me.
Either way, don’t let THESE commonalities hold you back.
