I talk — openly and often– about my marriage. So, it’s no secret that Chris and I went through a pretty “rough time” years ago. There WERE moments, days, during which I thought we JUST needed to end it. Things weren’t getting better. They weren’t shifting.
EVEN during those years, we had MANY great days… but the overall marriage was just not good. (To put it mildly.) =) There was no cheating. No lies. No beatings. No addictions… none of that. But, we got married YOUNG and as we grew, our differences REALLY showed… as I “came into my own,” he was feeling stagnant. It was ugly.
Our kids were young.
And I didn’t want to be divorced.
Neither did he.
BUT THERE’S NO “VICTORY” — MORAL OR OTHERWISE — IN STAYING MARRIED BUT MISERABLE.
Simply staying married was NEVER the goal.
Yes, I wanted to stay married. Of course.
And on THIS side of things… I am BEYOND grateful every single day that we did. He’s my person. As different as we ARE STILL, there’s not a person in the world that fully occupies me…. my heart, my imagination, my soul, my body… the way he does. I can’t imagine even a DAY without him.
But simply STAYING MARRIED was NEVER the goal.
There are a LOT of married people who are miserable.
They’re BARELY even friends…
tolerating each other
waiting for the sweet release of death, I suppose.
I look at my parents and they STILL — 45 years later — light each other up. They’re best friends and lovers and YES… they go through hard times. But they’re THRIVING. They’re enjoying this life together… this life they built, brick by brick, from the ground up.
And Chris and I are doing the same.
Anything LESS and I wasn’t interested.
I wasn’t and am not AVAILABLE for a marriage that is drudgery.
In fact, as I type this, I remember that a LOT of our fights back then were because WE — he and I — could have had an AMAZING marriage…. and we didn’t.
I wanted ALL that we could HAVE TOGETHER. I was flat out UNWILLING to just slide quietly into a mediocre marriage.
And so I stayed.
And fought.
As is my nature.
Please don’t hear what I’m not saying.
I don’t know your marriage,
or whether you’re married or not.
I’m not judging you or suggesting you stay OR go.
I’m actually making a business point. =)
Your business shouldn’t be miserable and drudgery either. It’s not GOOD ENOUGH to simply stay in business and pay bills and die. There’s no honor there.
THAT is not what you started out to create.
THAT is not YOUR purpose.
THAT sort of “uphill both ways in the snow” is NOT your destiny.
Your business is a love story.
So, make it one you love to tell over and over and over again.
Don’t settle for a mediocre business.
Build it,
brick by brick,
to be a creation you’re SO proud of.
You CAN do it.
And so, you SHOULD do it.
P.S. One of the primary reasons Chris and I made it through that period and came out happier, stronger, and MORE in love is because we had my parents. NOT ONLY leading by example, but supporting us… praying for us… standing by us…. OFTEN standing in the gap for our marriage, BELIEVING the BEST for us.
And THIS is the role Women Who WOW plays in the lives of our members businesses. We’re cheering each other on during the mountain top moments, and standing in the gap — BELIEVING THE BEST for each other — when things get rough. Supporting each other, standing TALL with each other, and doing INCREDIBLE things. Join us. Message me for details.
