Full disclosure: I sometimes WISH I could be that woman. The one who is EASY to like, the one who is SO EASY in groups, the one who is an EASY and OBVIOUS invite to the dinner party or girls weekend. And as a kid and young woman… even “back then” I wished for the same thing.
I would fall into self-loathing AND some genuine self-inquiry at times.
🤢 WHY did I demand so much?
🤢 WHY didn’t I just keep my mouth shut?
🤢 WHY couldn’t I just let that shit go?
🤢 WHY didn’t I just play the game and save myself that fight? After all, I DID know the “rules,” social and otherwise.
🤢 WHY couldn’t I just settle?
🤢 WHY couldn’t I SIMPLY accept a bit of disloyalty here and there?
🤢 WHY did I REFUSE to give in, ever? WHY did settling feel like SUCH an ASSAULT to my soul?
🤢 WHY didn’t I really WANT to be where everyone else was?
WHY was my heart always drifting into the woods… WHY did I desire / demand / sneak away for time to be alone…. with my thoughts and a journal?
🤢 WHY was I so FREAKING weird????
lol…
and as an entrepreneur…
the self-loathing (at times) and self-inquiry continues:
🤢 WHY don’t I just dress the way they do?
🤢 WHY don’t I take the obligatory picture with the rented private jet? With the obligatory rented red carpet?
🤢 WHY don’t I just play the role of the super humble hustler, with her perfectly curated white walls, pink tulips in a vase and perfectly coifed hair? The one who is SOOOO kind and SOOOOO relatable … the one who NEVER calls you out on your bull shit but KEEPS applauding your (appalling) waiting and excuse-making game? The girl who follows the affiliate marketing rules and pays to play in all the right arenas?
WHY can’t I do this?
It’s not that I can’t.
It’s that I simply won’t.
My commitment to ME
my ALLEGIANCE to my own soul,
my RESPONSIBILITY for being a woman who is FULLY empowered AND fully expressed…
supersedes ANY superficial desire to fit in or be accepted.
It even supersedes my ACHING desire to be UNDERSTOOD.
Because THIS is my purpose.
To be a female example of what it IS
to be fully empowered
(financially and otherwise)
AND fully expressed…
so that OTHER women can have an example
of a woman
facing any and every headwind
with COURAGE and TENACITY
making a ton of mistakes,
failing at EVERY turn
But STILL showing up
and fully backing herself
every single day.
A woman showing up for her purpose… having the SHEER AUDACITY to back herself without permission or applause… continuing to show up WITHOUT REGARD for public opinion…
THIS woman will NEVER be applauded.
She WILL be villianized,
she WILL be ousted,
kicked out of the group,
no longer invited…
She WILL be gossiped about.
They WILL call her “too much” and — also — “not enough. ”
Too masculine and too aggressive.
Too direct and too in your face.
Too loud and too proud and too abrasive.
Too stubborn and too WHATEVER.
And also,
Not feminine enough, not kind enough, not soft enough, not yielding enough, not NICE enough, not flexible enough, not reasonable enough, not relatable enough.
It’s not that I don’t HEAR these things…
It’s not that I don’t KNOW the things said about me.
It’s that — in light of OTHER things that matter —
namely: Me fulfilling MY OWN purpose in this world..
I just don’t care.
I don’t care enough to dull my shine,
to curb my drive,
to do what it takes to “fit in,” so as to not be ostracized.
I don’t CARE enough
but also
I can’t sustain that level of pretense.
And I DO NOT DESIRE a circle,
no matter HOW LARGE
of people I have to placate with pleasantries and pretense.
And I surround myself with DRIVEN women who feel the same. Many are different than me — 180 out in some respects regarding politics or religion or marriage or health or whatever — but what we have in common is this:
We have GIVEN UP the pursuit of acceptance and applause. We will NOT dial down our own goals to be deemed relatable to other women. We will NOT be silenced, shushed or repeat approved mantras in some sick — and sad– attempt to fit in. We WILL tell the emporer he has no clothes. We WILL speak our truth, because
damnit
we think it matters.
We think OUR message matters.
We think OUR voice matters.
We think we’re WORTHY of being heard,
even when
especially when
we know “they’d” prefer
we take our seats
and nod politely
at whatever small talk is being shoveled across the table.
So, I will NEVER be what you WANT me to be,
unless you WANT me to be fully empowered in EVERY respect and fully Expressed in every respect.
Because that is ALL I can pull off with any level of integrity.
But I will ALWAYS remind YOU
of who YOU are
of YOUR purpose,
YOUR potential
and YOUR power.
Sometimes these reminders are inconvenient,
because the habit of FULLY and REGULARLY
staring YOUR power, your purpose and your POTENTIAL
in the face,
DEMANDS a response.
Are you READY to respond?
Are you READY to be all of you, to leave the mediocre masses behind? To give up the easy acceptance of the masses in favor of being PROUD of yourself?
If so, message me
Women like us…
we need to stick together
to rise as ONE.
