Confessions: SEX, LIES, and LIFE

When I was a teenager, I learned a universal truth about sex.  Those promoting how much (or how well) they were “doing IT” were usually lying.  In fact, their bold “promotion” is usually compensating for a LACK of experience or ability!  =) And this truth doesn’t end when boys and girls grow up into men and women.  As the co-leaders of a marriage ministry, I KNOW that this whole “sex presentation” phenomenon is still very much alive and well.  For instance, the couples who never miss a chance to “LOUDLY brag” about how much (or again, how well) they are “doing IT”, they are usually lying.   Unfortunately, they are often the couples who later fall victim to infidelity or eventually throw in the towel and divorce.  

My husband and I have sat in many rooms listening to couples laugh and joke about how sexually “active” they are… they will (tastefully) hint about how GOOD the sex is. If we only KNEW how good things were in THEIR bedroom… Hmmm…. 

I immediately have two thoughts.  The first is WHY is this person so committed to promoting their own sexual ability or frequency?  (Again, going back to the universal truth, I think I already know…) And my next thought is this, “If all you say is TRUE, why would you rather sit around all day or night TALKING about sex with us??  Why not just go home and do it?”  Rather than adding to the “sex” PRESENTATION proudly displayed by some of the  other couples in the room, Chris and I will look over and share a knowing glance… and celebrate what (actually) is.  🙂

This same focus on PROMOTION and PRESENTATION (rather than ACTION itself) is true in all areas of our life.  As a coach and speaker, I know it is true in business.  We spend a lot of time trying to convince others (and maybe ourselves??) of how great we are, rather than just BEING great at what we do or offer.  When our focus is on PROMOTION or PRESENTATION, rather than on the actual DOING of what we do, we are building a house of cards.  Because people don’t want to do business with a persona, they want to do business with a person.  The same is true in life.

How many Moms do you know who make this grand ‘ole production about what great Moms they are??? How they are so organized?  How they are always the one bringing food to the sick, and bringing snacks for school parties?  They will draw your attention to their perfectly catered birthday parties and let you know how painstakingly committed they are to “capturing every moment on video or camera”.   With all of this going on, I have to wonder how much time they actually spend just BEING a Mom… enjoying being a Mom… enjoying and getting to know their kids… 

For me, I am okay if I forget the video camera.  I would rather LIVE in the moment than document it anyway!  =)   And anyone who knows me (AT ALL) knows that I am messy, disorganized, a bit “high maintenance”, and often running late, among other “negative” characteristics.  But I am always me.   My husband will sometimes refer to me as a “nightmare” wife.  Am I offended?  Nope.  I just smile and remind him that I never pretended to be anything else… and I am pretty sure he was “warned” about me long before we were married…   🙂

For me, it all comes down to being AUTHENTIC… being COURAGEOUSLY you!  The world is DRAWN to authentic people… in business and in life!  So, I am again committed to NEVER focus on the promotion and presentation of ANY area of my life… my commitment is to LIVE it instead… full out… without hesitation… without fear of what others will think of me… without thought as to how I may be “perceived”…  

True authenticity is fearless and empowering and NONE of us “have this authenticity thing” mastered.  It is a choice we can make each day.  My coach recently wrote a PHENOMENAL book called, FEARLESS: Creating the Courage to Change the Things you Can. I highly recommend it to EVERYONE wanting a more authentic life!

So, how will you choose to live your life today?  As for me, I will live it MY OWN WAY!!  =)