You can literally buy the "tough girl" t-shirt at www.kaboodle.com. I just bought mine!
Having never addressed this before, I think the time is RIPE for a quick little discussion about “emotional toughness” and how it translates in business – especially for, though certainly not limited to, women.
Ever since I was little, I was a “people watcher”… or – to sound a little less creepy – a student of life…. a PEOPLE-ologist…. whatever. Bottom-line: I learned to study people, to watch their interactions, to consider what each one revealed by his or her actions. As an adult, and particularly as a business owner, I’ve not stopped. I watch my colleagues interact, and have noted one thing repeatedly:
When you NEED NOTHING FROM THE OTHER PERSON, relationships, profit, and opportunity flourish. However, when you enter a conversation, meeting, or relationship thinking you need to IMPRESS or gain favor or get attention or win a friend, you are bound to do just the opposite. In fact, you’ll spin your wheels and end up feeling used, resentful, or angry. And, by the way, as you try desperately to POSITION yourself in this way or that, you actually LOSE GROUND because in all of your posturing, you’re unable to really serve… and you come off, well…. desperate. Desperate for approval. Desperate for a pat on the back. Desperate… And I can’t think of anything less attractive or impressive than desperation, can you?
However, when you seek – instead of making an impression – to make an IMPACT on a person, business, or situation, you’ll be in action. You’ll be of service. And you’ll GAIN the standing you want.
It all boils down to my own secret weapon in business: CONFIDENCE. I’ve long OPENLY thanked my Momma for giving me a confidence that FAR exceeds my actual abilities. =) It has served me well. And it is the difference between success and failure for many, many business owners. So, the next time you meet someone for coffee, or walk in that networking meeting, or enter a sales conversation… forget trying to impress the person in front of you. Serve them instead. Seek to make a real IMPACT on them, their business, their day, or current situation. And you’ll be hearing more CHA-CHINGS than ATT-A-GIRLS in no time!
While you’re here, will you PLEASE share what you do when you need to feel MORE confident? Who do you call? What do you read? Where do you go?
Thanks to the strong and hopeful mothers of the world! My outlook on life has also largely come from my mother and I thank her daily for it. As children, whenever we said the word “can’t”, we were told IMMEDIATELY “there’s NO such word as can’t!” You see, back then the word “can’t” wasn’t even in the dictionary and she would pull that big, old Webster dictionary out and challenge us to find it…and of course we never could. She continually told us, “You can do whatever you set your mind to.” What she taught me those thousands of times I tried to use the word “can’t” is that yes you can. If it doesn’t work this way, well let’s just find a different way to make it work.
I think that my positive outlook on life and every situation I find myself in all comes as a result of my mother and her relentless belief that WE make the good things happen to us in life through hard work and perseverance. This is the key to MY success! 🙂
WOW! Thanks Trudy! I love your post! How did you find https://www.bmichellepippin.com?
Hey, you fell into the girl trap!!! You make such great, insightful and actionable points but undermine their (and your) power and credibility by saying your confidence “FAR EXCEEDS” — your caps — your actual abilities. What’s up with that? Anyone who knows you knows how brilliant you are so please try to avoid the girl trap of false modesty. OWN IT, DAMMIT!!!
Important and impactful for you, us and the daughters we’re lucky enough to be raising.
P.S Geraldine Doyle, née Hoff, age 86 died in December 2010.
In 1941, when she was a 17 metal factory work in Ann Arbor, Michigan when a UPI
photographer snapped a photo of her as she was working. This photo was used
in designing a Westinghouse motivational poster that later became known as
the “Rosie the riveter” poster.
Ironically, Doyle, who was a cellist, feared for her hands, causing her to quite her job after only two weeks.
This blends well with the Red Spoon concept. Recently, I gave a potential client a red spoon because I wanted to make an impact in helping this client solve a huge problem. He wrote me back to let me know that he would be sending money and signing on with my company. People can tell when you are authentic and truly empathetic and not just out for #1 (aka desperate). I have BBF’s who know that I get just as excited about referring business to them as I do about getting business for myself. Truth is always truth: You reap what you sow.
Thank you once again for your very insightful perspective. Now….where can I get one of those T-shirts? 😀