Getting to the CORE of who you are will be infinitely more valuable, more profitable than anything I — or anyone else — could ever package for and sell to you.
Let me explain.
I was the sensitive girl growing up.
I’d cry OFTEN out of hurt and frustration and the agony of feeling betrayed. I loved and felt SO deeply…
I was a retreat-er.
I’d retreat… for hours… to be alone with my thoughts.
(This place, alone with my thoughts, is where I feel most comfortable still today.)
I loved — and love — the simplicity of being alone.
It was — and is– my desired “state.”
And I was infinitely curious… about all things.
But fascinated by boundaries.
The artificial ones — like state boundaries — which I passed in two different locations on the school bus in the morning and afternoon each day.
The legal boundaries, which I admit to testing, breaking, and testing again.
My own boundaries… how far I was willing to go in any direction.
Self-imposed boundaries.
The boundaries others attempted to impose.
I loved — love — Jesus.
With a passion I still cannot explain.
I loved being a STRONG girl.
And I was a writer.
Always, from my earliest memories.
THIS — these things — made up / MAKE UP the CORE of who I am.
But then, I grew up. And, in so doing, I started collecting extra layers.
I added a layer of protection, by becoming a badass.
Biting in my sarcasm.
Ferocious with my words.
I added a layer of cynicism, which I admit has served me, but it’s not who I am.
I added layers of busy-ness,
layers of hardness,
layers of independence, in the “I’ve got this and don’t need any help.” vein.
Layers of “I don’t care.”
Layers of outrageous and unhealthy push and hustle.
I’m not one for pretense.
I didn’t put on these layers for looks.
Over time, they just kept showing up.
Over time, they became my “go to” outfits.
BUT THEY AREN’T REALLY WHO I AM.
THEY AREN’T REALLY WHO I WAS MEANT TO BE.
And so, a couple of years ago, I began shedding.
Stripping them away.
Oh, I still love my sarcasm.
But I yield it in good humor these days.
I still love my independence, but have learned to depend on people again.
I still embrace what I consider a healthy dose of cynicism, but it’s not my immediate reaction.
So, here’s where this comes back to business…
When I stripped away
at the layers that ARE NOT REALLY me…
I uncovered my TRUE brand.
The brand you see.
The brand of ME.
Because,
and here’s the point,
the TRUEST brand of YOU
has NO competition.
All of this for me started with a journal prompt,
I am NOT REALLY _______________.
Fill in the blank as many times as necessary.
I’m not really a badass.
I’m not really a hard core, tough woman.
i’m not really hard…
I’m not really cynical.
I am not really ____________.
These things were put ons.
And they served a purpose.
I am grateful for them…
And also — infinitely more — grateful for bidding them goodbye.
And coming back to the core of who I am, who I was meant to be.
The writer.
The lover of Jesus.
The sensitive girl.
The retreat-er. (Because recluse sounds too negative! lol..)
The curious girl who will ALWAYS test a boundary regardless of why it was set, or by whom.
The simple girl.
I stripped away ANYTHING false,
anything that wasn’t REALLY me.
And i have never been truer, more confident in my brand.
More peaceful.
NOR more profitable.
I invite you to join me.
with a simple prompt…
I am NOT REALLY __________.
