Lesson I Learned in Prison

I’ve had (unfortunate) “cause” to visit a variety of prisons.  Mens.  Womens.  Medium security.  Maximum security.  In Virginia and North Carolina.

Prison, like the battlefield of small business, is not a place you want to go without knowing the “lay of the land,” but there’s much we can learn from them. We’ll get to that.

If you’ve never had the “privilege” of having a loved one behind bars, let me share with you a more personal view of what you’d likely see depicted in a made-for-tv documentary.

Prisoners are some of the most ingenious people I’ve ever met.  Seriously.   For the guilty ones behind bars (and not all ARE guilty) I do not mean to gloss over their crimes, nor do I mean to pay them homage when they are owed none.  I’m merely stating fact.

For example, prisoners fashion their own weapons using the most mundane of household “safe” items. They are impressively creative when it comes to both getting cash into their hands, and even more creative with what they do with that cash once it’s inside.  (Prisons, in case you didn’t know, do not operate on a “cash” system…. so the only ones that cash has any relevance for is the guards.  But, that’s another story.)  They become masterfully detail-oriented, able to read the most “poker” of faces, and they even create their own economy — like us.

There are the rules  that are laid down and (sometimes) enforced by the guards, and then there are  the (real) rules that are often unspoken, but routinely enforced by the inmates.   It is far better for you to break the former rather than the latter.  Prison is the perfect place for violent predators, but absolutely unthinkable for anyone else.

Here’s my point.   If I were remanded to the state tomorrow, prison would be a very scary place for me.   I’d cry and stomp and tremble… However, if allowed to bring only ONE thing INTO the prison system with me, I wouldn’t choose a shank or knife or even a gun.  I wouldn’t choose cash or the Bible or books to help me pass the time.  I’d choose RELATIONSHIPS.  I’d choose to come in with some relationships with others on the inside that I could count on.

Because, on the inside, it’s these multi-tiered relationships that matter most:  relationships with the guards and with your  new peers.  Relationships with “mentors” who’ve been in a long time, and relationships with whom you share a common “new kid on the block” status.  Relationships with people who know how to get what you need, and relationships with those who will protect you when you need it.

On the outside,  the same principle is true. 

Each of us, when we first open our own proverbial doors of business, have choices.  What will we BRING WITH US to start out?  Most business owners focus on tools.  They bring with them their fancy logo, a catchy tagline, a crisp new website, and impressive looking business cards.  But, like entering prison with a gun or knife or shank, I think they make the wrong choice. Because it’s all about relationships.   Relationships with the grizzled veterans who may not know how to tweet or facebook, but can mentor you in the fundamentals of business and selling.  Relationships with your peers who are headed in the same direction as you.  Relationships with those that can protect you (attorneys, accountants) when you need them to.  Relationships with those you hope to serve.

Relationships.   Your business success will depend on them.

If you’re NEW in business, or if you’re experiencing diminishing or disappointing results in your business… take a step back from the tools and gadgetry and bright shiny objects. Step away from the everyday hustle and focus on relationships.  What relationships are you deliberately building?  What are you GIVING?  Who are you in relationships with, and how do you nurture those relationships?

Who will you reach out to today?