It’s funny how certain thoughts, statements and lyrics can drastically alter and shape your life. For instance, long before I would have ever known the name Gloria Steinem, I was well on my path to becoming a FULLY empowered female.
**Before I get started, let me stave off the comments of how lucky I am because I am 43, how much work was done ON MY BEHALF before I was born. I fully acknowledge this, honor and appreciate it. This is MY journey, which — of course — began and continues after the roots of feminism did a phenomenal job paving the way for me.**
For as long as i can remember, I have been GLAD to be a girl. 
In my house, being a girl meant that there was a LOT I didn’t have to do. You know, the hard work, much of the “outside” work, any physically dirty work. #ColorMeHappy. To add to this, there was a LOT that was done for me. Doors were opened routinely, I was carried over hot sand so my feet didn’t get hurt. Additionally, I hated the feel of sand on my wet feet. So, naturally, my Dad would pick me up at the foot of the ocean, wash off my feet, and carry me to the towel. Out to eat, my steak would be cut up for me. Totes normal, right?
Is it ANY wonder the guys I dated thought I was a NIGHTMARE or “expected too much?” lol…
Anyway… so far so good. Growing up, being a girl was well… a PRETTY good gig! BUT ALSO, for a girl… there was a lot of freedom. I got to FULLY experience life. I learned to fight and shoot, of course. (One day, my Dad may not be there to protect me and so… I had the confidence that I could protect myself.) I could also play with dolls or write or explore or cry or be mad or sad without outside judgement. There was ZERO expectation for me to go in any one direction or another. This was ULTIMATE freedom, which — of course — is my primary desire. I could go to college, or not. I could attend class, or not. I could get married and have kids, or not. I could become a doctor or politician, or not. Life was MINE to create. No perceived limits. And no constraints of expectation.
And then I got older. And well, sex. Sex is amazing… and my Mister still reminds me why I’m immensely glad to be a woman. But think about it. Women can be the aggressor in the bedroom and men love it. We can sit back and receive submissively, and men love it. Anything in between goes too. Again… I’m seeing womanhood as PURE joy, freedom and privilege.
But my gratitude for my girl-hood doesn’t end there. There’s also… motherhood. As women, our motherhood goes back way farther than parenthood goes for men. For example: We have a phrase in our house called “Shelbey pace.” IN THE WOMB, this child moved slowly, deliberately. But CJ? Even in the womb, he was moving fast 24-7. They are both the same today. I knew them before I could see them.
I didn’t have the privilege of carrying Summer in my womb. Instead, she grew in my heart. At 15, I began thinking about adoption. Which EVEN I knew was super weird. I thought it was God’s way of preparing me for not being able to carry children. Instead, it was His way of preparing me for multiple paths to motherhood. I knew she was coming… before I ever knew she was coming.
I wouldn’t trade being a woman for ANYTHING. Not then and certainly not now. But — of course — there are “potential pitfalls,” right?
Sometime in high school the song, “Is there life out there?” came out by Reba McIntyre. Here are some lyrics, although the entire song is worthy of listening to:
Is there life out there
So much she hasn’t done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She’s done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn’t want to leave
She’s just wonderin
Is there life out there
These lyrics HIT ME….
As I listened to them, I began to see my Mom as a woman… vs. just a mother, for the very first time. I began to wonder… did she feel this way? In the song, the woman married at 20. My Mom married at 17.
Did she dream of a life outside of our family, of our home? I know now that there were times when she did. I saw my Dad’s life had multiple “focal points:” WORK, HUNTING CLUB, KIDS, SIDE JOBS, MY MOM.
And while my Mom ALSO did many things… she worked at times, she had friendships she maintained in such fun ways, she exercised every morning, she had her sisters she was close to… but the only true FOCAL point, was HOME. It all came back to us for her.
And I am GRATEFUL, but mainly grateful that she DID find life out there… (keep reading!)
So, in my teenage pondering, I realized intimately that there was a negative POTENTIAL of being female, the potential of a certain STUCKNESS, a certain box, a certain “threat” of picking one life and being forever caged by it.
Now, I am not one to be caged.
Freedom is everything to me.
So, I made a decision that sometimes led me into dangerous situations: I would LIVE FULLY. I would explore ANY and EVERY idea that popped into my little head. I would do a LOT of living before I got married.
And I did.
I made it out of that “decision” with my life and my freedom, something I never take for granted.
Sometime after about age 15, I read a quote that I ONLY RECENTLY realized was Gloria Steinem’s quote… it was about how NOTHING impacts children MORE than the unlived lives of their parents.
Fewer things are more true.
Whatever I was reading had Steinem describing her parents. She said her mother had the home but no road. Her father had the road but no home…. and she believed that BOTH sexes deserved both.
I was STRUCK by how much this thinking resonated with my own. I remember thinking about how my Mom had roots and my dad had wheels, but that neither of them seemed to have wings. I remember feeling so ATTACHED to wanting them to have the FREEDOM that I had ALREADY decided to NEVER live without.
The freedom to choose,
the freedom to live fully expressed,
the freedom to go as they please,
the freedom to BE all they wanted to be and DO all that they wanted to do,
the freedom to NEVER settle.
I couldn’t imagine agreeing to a life in which all of these things weren’t present.
And I am so incredibly grateful and proud to say that my parents DID sprout wings and MYYYYYYY have they flown. They are at the helm of a multi-7-figure per year business. They travel when and where they want. They spend money on whatever their heart desires. They STILL have the roots and wheels that served them so well, that grew them into who they are, but now they have wings as well.
Not UN-coincidentally….. these wings sprouted AFTER my Dad left the bondage of someone else’s employ. So, I guess it’s no wonder that I see entrepreneurship as THE BEST VEHICLE for personal empowerment, the MOST SURE road to freedom, the only “route” I am fit to walk.
So, I’m a bit lost. I wanted to share my view of being an empowered female. I wanted to tout entrepreneurship as THE WAY for women to be fully empowered, and fully expressed. It is DAMN hard to be fully empowered if you are reliant on a man or a government or some dole for your financial needs.
And this is WHY I am so committed, so passionate about what we do here. It is WHY I work with women on SELLING on creating an income they can be proud of, why I CHEER SO VEHEMENTLY for women to grow wings and fly.
Anyway, if you want in…
to the Women Who WOW sisterhood, Message me.
Doors are always open, but there is an incredible bonus for joining now.
xoxo
Michelle
