DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW, DON’T REMEMBER, CAN’T PALPABLY, EMOTIONALLY RECALL… IT ALL.
The shame. Of being in the same place I was a year ago, of somehow being ‘the only one’ not succeeding at a certain level. The shame NOT of the hustle itself (I truly love the hustle) but of HAVING to ALWAYS hustle. The shame of the too-long-dry-spells in business.
The anger. Of seeing others who were spouting lies and being financially propped up by their spouse so they LOOKED successful BEING CHOSEN over me. Of being overlooked. Of being ignored.
The RELENTLESSNESS of the cycles of pushing and promoting and reminding myself EVERY DAY that I could do this, when as the days passed, my self-encouragement felt just well, lacking ANY conviction or belief.
The pride of staying the course, of holding the line of STICKING IT OUT… but also equally feeling no small amount of self-pity that I was STILL enduring when it looked like others were thriving.
The wonderments of when MY TIME would come… when **I** would the the one on the main stage, commanding an audience that WANTED to see me or even CAME to see me… and in my heart feeling like THAT was SO FAR OFF. Like, literally, at the pace I was going, would I even LIVE long enough to see this happen?
The disheartenment of being ignored, picked over, or even PITCHED in a way that showed that the person had NO IDEA what you were up to.
The CONSTANT fretting over finances. Money matters SO much and when it is not flowing, yes it CAN feel like oxygen… that is slowly leaking out of the room, with no guaranteed source of renewal.
The RAW & REAL moments of considering if I CAN keep going… whether it was financially or emotionally… and also, did I EVEN want to?
The HEART ACHE of putting my ALL into something…. feeling it was SO inspired, having ALLLLLLLL the attagirls prior to launch, ONLY to be met with crickets when you ask those SAME people to buy what they said they NEEDED and WANTED and COULD NOT WAIT FOR. Yes heart ache, because I know we’re not “supposed” to feel this way, but when you put so much of yourself into something, it CAN and OFTEN does feel like personal rejection.
But here is the deal.
Time and distance does NOT dull these memories but it can give me a perspective of what was going on in those times when growth seemed to come to a crawl… or even, running in the wrong direction. lol..
I can look back and KNOW / RECOGNIZE things that I was doing in these moments.
IN NEARLY EVERY DOWN TURN, DISCOURAGING TIME in my business, I was in ACTIVE growth mode. Nearly EVERY one of the worst moments was preceded by a season of growth and confidence and a desire to SCALE and GROW.
Do not hear what I’m not saying.
Scaling and growing is crazy important….
not just for money but largely for time and legacy and all the other things.
It wasn’t my desire that was wrong. It was the fact that I looked outside of myself for the answers.
The truth is, I have never felt like a “Proper” entrepreneur. I don’t have the right pedigree. I don’t pay to hang in the right rooms. I don’t bother with the POLISH and focus far more on the SUBSTANCE. I CARE about people, and women entrepreneurs in general. Their success MATTERS to me. THEY matter to me. And also, I DETEST a “big” business, have NEVER desired a large team and refuse to allow my business to take over my life today… so that maybe I can be super successful “later.”
BUT I WANTED TO BE PROPER.
Polished.
Professional.
I wanted (want!) to look like i have it all together.
So, in those confident moments… when I was seeking to SCALE and GROW… I looked for a coach or program or course that would “fix” my mess.
They were not hard to find. lol….
And in general, I’m a good student. I watch. I learn. I implement quickly.
But when I had the perspective that I was a mess, that I wasn’t proper and needed to be “Fixed” or fancied up or whatever…. well, what I found were a lot of systems for SCALING but didn’t TAKE INTO ACCOUNT what needed to be scaled…
was ME!!
Messy, Vulnerable, Stubborn, Low Tech, Driven
Me.
What they TAUGHT was scaling other people’s grody, twice-warmed over marketing-speak.
Not how to scale what was already working…
In fact, VERY FEW ever asked me what was working.
Very few ever ASKED what MY unique magic was…
No… they taught the stepfordpreneur march.
And while I’m a bit embarrassed by it now, I DID try to dance for them. Awkwardly and admittedly with no small measure of self-loathing for “playing the game,” but I still tried to dance, to catch the beat.
Also, I hated the music. I HATED their music.
And also…
my income went down every single time.
And WHY WOULDN’T it?
My success was built on ME
and these attempts at scale
(the way I was trying it!)
aimed to homogenize me to the lowest common denominator,
and then press repeat.
Yuck.
Side note: Do you KNOW why a 2% conversion rate is considered GOOD?????? Because they’re counting on numbers and not connection. Because they’re counting on repetition rather than attracting YOUR tribe.
Anyway… here is your message,
your reminder
that your success plan,
your plan to scale
to leverage
to REACH your potential
MUST be based on YOU.
Yep, imperfect, “lacking,” unprofessional perhaps… YOU.
THAT is your magic.
THAT definitely CAN Be scaled,
but it will NOT
and CANNOT be done
in a way that has you following the leader,
doing the “mother may I” thing.
So, come back to you.
Remember your magic sauce.
Remember what they first fell in love with.
And then ask yourself…
HOW can I magnify this?
How can I get it on MORE stages and pages?
How can I SHOW this magic to more people?
btw, I’m doing a new thing.
It’s a DONE WITH YOU (and if it does not work — guaranteed!) DONE FOR YOU program to get YOU on other peoples stages and pages.
THIS has been my MOST relied on, MOST profitable strategy from the FIRST DAYS of my business. Back before social media or podcasts or constant conferences…
So, if you are READY to scale, but do NOT want to go the stepfordpreneur march…. Message me. It’s an intimate program that will be fully guaranteed.
