…WHO ARE “TOO MUCH.”
The reality of being “too much,”
the “punishment” for the crime of being “too much” — especially for women — is a deep-in-your-bones loneliness…
Most of us learn this early.
Stand out — in any way — and be shunned.
Rejected.
Ousted.
This is something we must come to terms with though…
because we ARE so different. How we think, how we structure our days, how we view life, how we view challenges, how we “relax.”
As entrepreneurs, we have already rejected the cultural “norm” of a 9 to 5. Already, we can’t really add much to conversations about bad bosses and unideal hours and long commutes. It’s just not our world…. It’s foreign to us.
As SERIOUSLY DRIVEN entrepreneurs, we may border on OBSESSED with what we do, UNREASONABLE in our expectations, UNIMPRESSED and UNINTERESTED in the “normal way” of doing things… of doing ANYTHING. And so we become a bit MORE ‘removed’ from the mainstream.
As seriously driven WOMEN entrepreneurs, we may be considered TOO DRIVEN… many of us committing the sin of out-earning the man in our life… and creating absolute financial freedom ON OUR OWN TERMS… ignoring the rules, thumbing our noses at all of the ladder climbing and B.S.
Too much of this.
Too much of that.
Too demanding.
Too loud.
Too strong.
Too optimistic.
Too hard.
Too confident.
Too uncensored.
Too busy.
Too competent.
Too focused.
But even women like US need each other.
In college, I was — truly — alone, perhaps for the first time in my life. I remember when one of my (now) husband’s fraternity brothers told me that a group of the guys and their girlfriends were talking about how I dressed. Lol. I am QUITE sure the guys were SUPER offended by it… as they nodded dutifully when their girlfriends discussed my “slutty” attire.
TOO much, said they.
If there was EVER an outsider looking into THAT social circle, it was MOI.
Too much… and I was OUT.
Fine by me, I told myself… and another layer of “thick skin” was built.
My ex-boyfriends DEFINITELY thought I was too much.
(And, admittedly… I am. To their credit: they each found someone — or a series of someones– who were easier to take than me….and I found my forever someone… who cherishes all of the ways I am “too much.”)
Fast forward to adulthood, though… to womanhood….to motherhood… and I found myself still on the outside looking in… ALWAYS on the fringe. By design, perhaps… but also by default.
In the church community, I was TOO BOLD.
In the homeschool community, I was TOO MAINSTREAM.
In the world of MOMS, I was too WEIRD, too “GRANOLA.”
In the world of women, I was TOO DIFFERENT, TOO MASCULINE, TOO DRIVEN, TOO FOCUSED.
Fine by me, I told myself…
and I got stronger…
and craved more solitude.
Because when you have a strong sense of self (often thought of — of course — as “TOO strong”) you know that you are NEVER lonely when you’re alone… but it is quite easy to be lonely in a crowd.
I craved and built solitude because I was SICK of pretending… I was SICK of showing up in a group of people and feeling like a horse with a bit in my mouth… always holding myself back.
“Don’t say THAT, Michelle.”
“Don’t DARE point out the PAINFULLY obvious, Michelle. Just don’t do it.”
“Smile and nod, Michelle….”
Whatever you do,
Don’t stand out.
This morning, I again heard about how I am “TOO LOUD” when I cheer for my kids’ on the field. I’m also not — I learned — cheering at the RIGHT TIME. WHY — my family asks — would I cheer when the opposing team gets tackled at their own 1-yard line… I’m not ignorant, folks.
To me, it’s so obvious.
I’m not cheering for their 65-yard run…
I’m cheering for the “just in time” tackle. LOL….
Anyway,
is it any wonder I created my own world?
My own community of LIKE-minded, DRIVEN, LOYAL women?
A world where small talk (which I consider agonizing) is replaced by dreaming and scheming? Where complaining is replaced by ACTION? Where deep friendships are created and success is celebrated? Where EACH WOMAN is celebrated for her own particular brand of “TOO MUCH?”
Is it any wonder I amassed a world-wide circle of women who get ME and get EACH OTHER? Where there are NO walls or stories dividing us up by race, political affiliation, religion, marital status or industry? A world with NO judgement and total authenticity?
Is it any wonder?
NO…
Because in my heart of hearts….
As strong as I became in the face of rejection….
As comfortable as I became in solitude…
As settled as I became, hanging out always on the fringe…
There was STILL an ache in my soul…
A desire to be TRULY known…
A desire to be FULLY accepted,
despite how different I am,
how differently I think and dream and do…
A desire for a community of women like me.
I am so beyond grateful for Women Who WOW. It has grown way beyond my initial “dream” for this community. If you want IN, send me a PM.
But if you want to know how to create your OWN custom-fit community that will not only be a HELL YES for you, but for SO MANY OTHERS like you…. join bmichellepippin.com/the-membership-miracle Our top 20 bonus is gone, but there’s another GREAT bonus available still.
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