Mr. Mass Marketing
Here lies the rotting corpse of Mass Media Advertising. He passed away recently after a prolonged and difficult illness. Thanks to the valiant efforts of advertising salespeople everywhere, and the foolish attempts of big business seeking to win “creative awards” (think: Superbowl) rather than new customers, he was able to live on far past his prime.
He is survived by thousands of media outlets (tv, radio, newspaper) who are now searching for alternative funding sources and countless businesses breathing their last breath due to the cash hemorage imposed by him.
Due to his complete and total impotence and inability to perform in the last days, there will be no service to remember him. Instead, all former advertisers are encouraged to post this obituary somewhere they can see it…. as a reminder that business is about measurable results and “getting your name out there” is not a noble cause. (Hint: Getting YOUR customers IN here is a much more profitable goal.) His memory will live on, of course, in the bitter hearts of the many entreprenuers, small businesses, organizations and corporations who paid him BILLIONS of dollars in the last years of his life, and in return, got nothing.
May he rest in peace.
