Where should I start about Valentine’s Day 2019? (If you are uninterested in me, but want ONLY what applies to YOU and growing your business to its full potential, scroll down until you see this: đź’Ą)
V-day 2019 began with all the best of intentions… which were promptly discarded with a health crisis.
❤️ An appointment for a couple’s massage with our favorite therapists.
❤️Lunch at my favorite, quaint little restaurant (Omar’s Carriage House) which happens to be STEPS away from
❤️the place that EVERYONE agrees sells the BEST macarons in the world. (Hummingbird Macarons & Desserts)
❤️ Dinner at my favorite restaurant (The Butcher’s Son Chesapeake)
Just a day and night with my favorite person, doing all my favorite things.
But this was not to be. V-Day began with my second trip of the week to the Emergency Room with my son. He has mono. Only, the ER docs referred us to the oncology department of the Children’s Hospital of the King’s daughters because they suspected lymphoma. (To read more about my “fear” of lymphoma, go here.)
So, V-Day was shot.
But we have been immensely blessed. My son is sick as a dog, but does not have cancer. And after three days and nights on the Oncology floor of CHKD, we are home… exhausted but recovering. And unafraid.
But, during our time in waiting, I did a lot of thinking and discovered that….
đź’Ą THE DESIRE THAT NEARLY ENDED MY MARRIAGE,
IS ALSO THE DESIRE THAT KILLS SO MANY BUSINESSES.đź’Ą
So here we go.
In June, I’ll celebrate 20 years being married to the man who still captures my heart. It’s hard to believe it’s been TWO decades.
But there were a couple of years during which I didn’t know if we WOULD…
I didn’t even know if we SHOULD…
make it to a another anniversary.
We’ve spoke often and openly about Chris’ bout with depression during those years, but something else…
maybe even something more difficult…
was also at play.
His top, most frequent accusation levied at me:
YOU’VE CHANGED.
My response, equally accusatory:
YOU HAVEN’T.
It wasn’t until YEARS later that I was able to put words to my HEART during that period of our marriage. I wanted him to love me… in ALL my forms.
The party girl in college.
The girlfriend who knew, respected, and acknowledged no limits, legal or otherwise.
The fiancé who refused to have sex until we were married.
The idealistic new bride.
The ruthless -as-hell mom.
The exhausted, spent and overwhelmed mom.
The woman with a small dream.
The fierce woman with a huge dream.
The traditional woman in me.
The more “crunchy granola alternative” woman in me.
The strong woman who needs no man.
The vulnerable woman who desperately needed him.
I wanted him to LOVE every iteration of me,
every phase,
every page,
everything that changed,
and everything that didn’t.
And you know what?
He wanted the same.
He hadn’t changed… much.
Not at that point.
But he wanted me to love ALL forms of him.
That which HAD changed,
and that which had not (yet) changed.
I will say that
and then I’ll get back to business,
no one would have faulted us for calling it quits…
We married young,
and we grew
not necessarily in different directions (like we once thought)
but at different paces.
No one would have faulted us.
But on this side of things,
not a day goes by without my own
and his
gratitude
that we stayed the course.
We have a history,
memories.
We built a FAMILY for Christ’s sakes.
No one ELSE can say he held FIRM to all 180 POUNDS of me while I pushed out his children, in a hot tub that was too nasty for words. =)
No one else BET ON ME when our very living expenses were at stake, and we had no plan B.
And no one else held on to our vision for the future while he battled depression.
Anyway, business.
A lot of marriages quit because they don’t LOVE their marriage in its current form. They give up on the FUTURE,
they give up on the DREAM of growing old together, because TODAY looks bleak… or because a SEASON looks bleak.
And a lot of entrepreneurs quit
because they don’t love their business
as it is TODAY.
They give up on the future,
they give up on the DREAM that compelled them INTO business in the first place,
because TODAY looks bleak.
I will say that I LOVE my business.
In all its forms.
❤️ I loved the business that allowed me to make BARELY enough money to stay at home with my children.
❤️ I loved the business that stretched my faith during those scary moments.
❤️I loved the business that GREW me — out of financial need — as a marketer, as a salesman, as a speaker, as a messenger, and as a leader.
❤️ I love the business that allowed me, afforded me the life I now live, and have always aspired to.
❤️ I love the business that opened doors that gave me access to GIANTS I can learn from.
❤️ I love the business that acquainted me with an entire TRIBE of bad ass women entrepreneurs who also KNOW and respect NO LIMITS.
I urge you…
in this late Valentine’s Day post.
To love YOUR business
(and perhaps your husband / wife if that applies)
in ALL its forms.
I urge you to stay the course,
to keep faithful to your vision
to remember the DREAM you have for your business.
I urge you to love your business, as it is today, so you will BE THERE
to celebrate EVERY different phase of growth it will accomplish under your tender, fierce care.
P.S. Did you see that for EVERY new Women Who WOW member from now until the end of March, I’ll donate $100 to Children’s Hospital of The King’s Daughters (CHKD)? Did you see that for any new member we get today, I’ll donate $200? If you’ve been dancing around with joining, now is the time.
Do well for yourself.
While doing good for others. You can join here.
or you can ask more about membership HERE.
Also, read some more of my V-day posts throughout the years HERE.
