I saw this at Barnes & Noble and HAD to pick it up…. It struck me funny, but it also reminded me of this one woman I spoke to a long time ago… and an age-old (and dead wrong) theory about business success.
So, first… the woman. I was talking to her about how she’d LITERALLY not made a DIME in her business in over three years. 3 years. Zero dollars. I suggested a bunch of immediate action items that would make money for her. (After all, I sort of thought that was why she called me. Right?)
Anyway, every one of the things I suggested (of course) required her to sell something. Because, not to overstate the obvious, but that IS how we as business owners MAKE MONEY. This is what she said,
“But you don’t understand. Everyone THINKS I’m making a bunch of money. I’ve done a great job of LOOKING really successful.”
She was living what I call the “husband-funded life.” And obviously, she was MORE committed to LOOKING successful than doing what it takes to BE successful. And, trust me, she is NOT alone. She was actually doing business by one of the oldest and most damaging business theories still prevalent: “Fake it ’till you make it!”
So, I have to ask,
What are you pursuing today, this week or this year?
Is it the APPEARANCE of something (peace, wealth, abundance, marital bliss, or success)? Or is it the “something” itself? For the record, I highly recommend the latter. The former has ZERO value. None. Nada. Zilch.
Now, let’s do this thing. For REAL. Because we should. And because we CAN. As always, I’m rooting for you! xox
I am a big fan of faking it ’till you make it when it comes to things like belly dance, or cooking, or yoga. Not so much when it comes to one’s work-genuinely assessing what your business is and is not doing is something I think many of us are not comfortable with-yet its an absolute must if we want our businesses to be successful.
Excellent post! ACTION is where it’s at — nothing happens without it, and I’m happiest in my biz when I’m taking real action. For me lately, it’s getting up close and personal with clients and allies who will be resources for my clients. I figure that if I’m taking action, the appearance will take care of itself. 🙂
Oh I can proudly say I have been actively making things AND taking action to promote my e-course and Wonderland forum…I am so grateful and fascinated with my ability to accomplish…it’s kind of addiciting
Love this! Indeed,action is key. In terms of ‘fake it til ya make it’… I think that works well if you’re walkin’ in a room and need to come across uber successful. You gotta fake it a little bit.
But I have to add…. 3 YEARS????? She is obviously not as driven by ‘need’ as some of us! LOL
Great post! Thank you!
Whoa! I couldn’t look myself in the mirror if I were “husband-funded” – the success or failure of my business depends 100% entirely on the effort I put into it. Period. I’d rather BE successful than LOOK succesful, although it does more than help to look lovely and prosperous.
I’m with Julie, that I’m also sometimes envy the “husband funded” women or even sometimes women who at least have husbands 🙂 at the same time I’m proud of making my own fortune and want to meet equally successful man.
Love your article and I totally support your idea that it’s more important to be successful rather than appear to be successful.
Although I am married, and we would be ok if I didn’t make any money my business money comes from my income…I am sure I could have it the other way but really prefer to work hard for what I want. I have really had to shift my way of thinking around this a bit though, because I feel really down when I am not making the money I want because of an old poverty mindset, but then I am thankful for my husband….but not dependent:)